Sometimes words can overflow the dam of your emotions, leaking uncontrollably until it breaks through your head, your skull, your soul and your skin, making you finally drown in your own little puddle of thoughts. Poetical and tragic death by excessive unsolved, unwanted, unnecessary feelings.
A big world, full of possibilities, exciting paths, incredible stories to be experienced, lived, conquered and yet somedays, you just feel too tired to get out of bed. But no, you won’t give up: your friend said “suck it up” and you force yourself out of bed (because people’s judgements matter so much and yes, you live for people’s approvals), then you struggle, try, cope and you realize: bed was indeed the best option, after all. Giving in and listening to yourself instead of whoever says otherwise would, at least, have saved you from your self imposed tyranny.
Yes, life can be filled with beauty, coziness, tasty and colorful treats, but at certain moments your senses are too numb and nothing motivates you. There is plenty of food but you feel no hunger. It’s rather paradoxal that you feel so empty and at the same time you feel fed up, nauseous. If even when surrounded by cute cakes and delicious custards you still starve to death, it might mean that your hunger was not about food but a deep lack of something else. If that is the case, pretty little foods and words never stood a chance. Quiet down, turn off your cellphone, listen to yourself, to your silence, even if it is not pretty. You don’t need to smile when you don’t feel like it. Respect yourself first.
Do not take for granted
My hunger for life
I was buried alive while struggling to live
It wasn’t always easy to be me
it was the way I found to run from impossibilities
My living statement on unsafe grounds
Hunger became my ongoing state of existence
Only the new was fresh enough
Only the flexibible would bring me around
So I gently accepted my weaknesses
My failures, limitations and hopelessness
I took the chance on being myself
And never looked back