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Goodbye 2016

It was about time. 2016 was a heavy year to bare. Brazil suffered a dirty, evil, imperialist financed, media promoted, disgusting political attack (yes it was a coup d’etat), they impeached a honest, democratically elected president and allowed Brazil to go back to curruption, poverty and dependency. Yes, you are all guilty of it. You all watched our young beautiful nation being raped, and yet, you did nothing. Your body may be going to the beach in a fancy new car, but your mind is blind, enslaved, in chains. 

I am happy 2016 will soon be over. At least metaphorically we have a new chance for better days. Yes, I am bitter about this and many othe things. And my only escape from the reality I do not cope with is to paint. I paint easy days with beautiful things to look at, peaceful times, loving people. I paint calm walls of protection, lovely china on the table with delicious cakes, bread, jam, butter, fresh brewed coffee, warm milk. I paint light curtains, beautiful sunsets, cute animals. I paint neat clothes, delicate groomed hairs, timid smiles, attemptive eyes. I paint good company and happy expectations. I paint time and space that suits the soul, embraces the eyes. I paint small treasures and details that invites your attention, your fantasy, your smiles. I paint flowers and clouds, sea and nice water kettle on the warm stove. I paint memories and dreams. I walk myself out of frustration and desappointment through colors and brushes. Striking fresh paint on immaculate canvas allows me to offer a different reality and believe in a better world. 

I am eager to start the new year. I am ready for a self built reality filled with happiness and pleasant present moments.

It is time for a new painting. Always time for a new chance.
PAINTING AVAILABLE FOR SALE – 30x40cm – acrylics on canvas – “Kökar”, 2016.

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chimamanda’s bagage

I just watched a speach with the beautiful and bright nigerian writer Chimamanda Adichie.  She danced with words so wise and called my attention to the Danger of Single Stories. So true. Thank you Chimamanda for spreadding beauty, truth and stories to the world.

link: http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/por_pt/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story.html

my last day…

This painting I painted many, many years ago.

In a time where I felt powerless, hopeless, and  indeed I felt ‘less’.

Today is my last day as my old version of me.

Tomorrow is my birthday and it’s the first day, for the rest of my life that I will live exclusively to be happy. Enough about trying to please the rest of the universe but me. Had enough about gray skies inside.

This is my last day. And I’m really happy about it!

now-agora-ahora-nu-adesso

I´m overwhelmed.

Life is indeed too confusing for beginners.

And sometimes, on the top of all the daily stress of living, the information recieved is just too much, and the synchronicity is amazing and simple messages, numbers, mails, calls, events and people say the same thing, again and again, confirming that God i everywhere, and everything can be a direct message from the above, straight for you. Booom! There it is. And again, and again.

Sometimes life screams at you: TAKE A BREAK!

DON´T BEAT YOUSELF TOO MUCH, (nor too hard!)! TAKE IT EASY! LET IT GO! LET IT BE! RELAX! CHOOSE HAPPYNESS AND PEACE…

Nothing else should matter… no one is coming to save you, so save yourself! There´s wisdom and hidden messages all over, all you need to do is look, take it in… accept, move on… and to breath!

Today I ended up in hospital.  What could have been a stroke, a heart attack or something fatal ended up being a migrane crisis followed or preceeded of a panic attack. My blood pressure went sky high, i fainted, saw small black spots and flashing lights in front of my eyes, numbness on the left side of my body, nausea, my head vains were pumping strongly (You could actually see it)… the whole package of a personal apocalypse happened. Scary. Personal hell does exist.

But what caused all this? Unfortunately I know well. Genetically I´m well represented by a long line of artists and psichologically ´challenged´ people…sounds funny, but true. Besides the biology, the choices we make, the decisions for pleasing everyone else but yourself, may have a strong role into all of this mess.

Considering that the day only holds 24 hours of possible activities (including acting and resting), life sometimes asks 32, 37, 45 hours of  demands… Then, as the math doesn´t match, one day the system will fail and shut down.

As an artist at heart and by profession, I need to be able to work both mentally and physically to make it happen.  Besides, body, soul, heart, days, bills, bank accounts and practical errands also need to be ran. It´s like trying to juggle with a thousand balls on the air and not being specially talented to do so.

And the heat… I´m not made for tropical weather (at least not while living, working and struggling in a big city like São Paulo).

Finally, and besides all the hidden details, I started reading the book ´The power of Now´ by the enlighted person and author Eckhart Tolle. It stroke me bad. (forgive the pun)

So, this weird day goes to Eckhart Tolle and the power of NOW.
I don´t need all this stress. I don´t need to take it on me. I´m sitting on my own trunk of gold. It´s about time to be my own best friend.

And it´s got to happen NOW.