I moved to a new country six months ago. A new language that is not very easy to learn. A new place and culture, new challenges. It’s about love and survival, always, life is. And every new challenge brings its own new obstacles and pleasures, lessons and adversities. This is my new place, I want to learn how to exist here.
Therefor I am stepping out of my artistic carriere.
The past ten years were all about struggle with very little reward. Times when I gave a lot of my work in exchange of food and simpathy, but most times in exchange of nothing. I survived but I can’t say I made a living out of it. I worked a lot but my work was many times locked up in dusty dark cellars with no sales. The world doesn’t reward or support simple art. And I am a simple artist.
Some gallerists got their free paintings and never sold a piece.
Some tried to help, most never even bothered.
Friends bought underpriced paintings and I was fed for a while.
Some stole my paintings and took my works without ever paying for it.
In fact, they stole much more than they took.
Many appreciated my work but didn’t understand the bigger picture.
Women artists should be encouraged, supported, consumed. I am not getting younger, I cant wait for society’s higher conscienceness to kick in. There are children in cages in this world, human and civil rights being slaughtered, the last thing people are thinking about is silly naive art. People are either worried with their new car or vacation or struggling to put food in their plates, it’s not about art.
I should use my silly art to make a statement, but my plate is also empty and nobody works on an empty stomach.
I can’t do this anymore. I need to survive.
I need to grow out of my sorrow and be selfish enough to do another thing.
I am in another country, I am in another story, this is my new thing.
I have now, for the first time in my life, a love big enough that makes me feel safe and nurtured, energized and motivated. I want this change. I need to belong. I am going to take this opportunity to reinvent myself, to learn and be a part of something real. New beginnings are in order. This is it.
Thank you to the few real dear people who truly supported me for this past 10 years.
I know who you are and I don’t forget.
This is the end. And it feels right.